Tiny Cabs

2018 . miniature cabaret songs for medium-high voice and toy piano . 3’30 .

Text by Lucy Shirley

I. I like
I like the bad boys, I like the shmucks,
the ones who never loved their mother and who only want to–Oh!
I like the playboys, the debonairs,
The ones who curse more than a sailor and put pomade in their hair.
My type is someone my father hates.
So I know that you adore me and you’re very perfect for me
but unless you fit this picture, please don’t ask me on a date.

II. Growing up
Is it okay if my heart aches and my joy feels used up?
Am I drowning? Am I dying?
Or am I just feeling grown up?

III. Expletive song
I don’t curse. Is that odd? I say “Gosh” instead of “God.”
Sure, I think it must be great to have the freedom to imprecate.
But I don’t wanna get it started, so I’ll always stick to “Darn it.”
I don’t mean to be a snoot, but poop is gross, so I’ll say “Shoot!”
I don’t think that cursin’s fun, so I’ll just stick with “Son of a gun.”
And even if I’m way, way down on my luck, I’ll never, ever, ever say–

IV. People
If you make believe, then everyone will agree
that you are as fun as you seem,
and they’ll never guess what’s bothering you.
If you lie enough about random, believable stuff,
no one will call your bluff,
and they’ll never guess what’s bothering you.
People break your heart. People break your heart.
People break your heart,
but they’ll never guess what’s bothering you